Ham, Cheese and Egg Sandwich: November 2006

I'm back!!! It's been too long since I've touched this blog and I think its time to update it a bit. I'm still undergoing my industrial training in Mandarin Oriental KL and so far, it has been an up and down ride for me. There are so many people I want to thank for teaching me about my job as well as to being a better person and there were PROS AND CONS of being a hotel staff. WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS ISSUES THAT MIGHT BE SENSITIVE TO SOME.

Like I said, it may contain sensitive issues.

Lets start with the Pros first, as said in my previous post, I had been trianing in the Front Office department for a month and I'd never thought I would say this, but I had fun there. It was not at all boring as I've thought it to be in the past and the job was definetely not as relaxing either. The FO department is like the front line of a hotel and a guest's first impression will be beared on the front office staffs' shoulders and to see their thankful little faces just makes a hotelier's day. Sadly, I wasn't part of that...haha... I was in the Club remember?!?! but we had our share of work to do as well. We had different tasks there everyday. Staffs there will be assigned to take care of the lounge area, the buffet area, reception area, and the room checker. I had been with every single one of the staff and gathered some of their most interesting advice. Quotes:

Wilson: You work hard for wat? must work smart. You only work as much as they pay you.
Catherine: Haihz.. I'm gonna quit this job, shave my hair and be a monk.
Addy: You must always anti-cipet what a guest want and need and don't tell anyone i made a drink for you.
Rachel: Haha..see I know Russians give tips thats why I sent you.
Nixon: I won't eat in the cafe cos it sucks!!
Claudine: I chose the Club so I don't have to do overnight shift.
Zatun: Ah boy, kerja kat sini senang tak bleh kata, susah pun tak bleh kata tapi buat saje lar you!!
Sean: [In canton] You big boy edi. Cannot simply listen to what people say ok.
Nita: You panjat saja lar kat atas counter tu tukar coffee beans.

Addy's favourite place in the club

hahah...yea thanks for the advice and help ppl..heheh but like I said, I've learnt a lot the hard way because there is NO easy way and sometimes, I wish I can take back the comment "I don't want to have a desk bound job!!". But all in all, I don't think I regret making this decision and having a guest like this man, Mr. Calles is why so. Mr. Calles is one of the nicests guest I've met. To me, he is still my guest and I'm still his hotel staff but to the other permenant staff, he is like a friend already. He's a long stay guest and from the stories I've heard, he treats everyone with respect and courtesy. Theres no staff-guest relationship and this is good because it helps the hotel earn money and it motivates you to do your job better and to try to establish a friendly relationship with guest giving them the feeling of home. Btw, that line many hotel uses, "Come stay at the hotelnamehere, its like A HOME AWAY FROM HOME" is bullshit!! especially resorts because if I want to have the feeling of home, I won't be getting away from home dumbass. Anyways....

Bottled piss that costs RM50+ each.

People actually swim there!!

This is for feng shui.

After my time in the Club, I went downstairs, to the concierge and I just re-enforce the statement that the MO Concierge is really a superduperknoweverydamnthinginmalaysia info booth. By the time I got there, they were as busy as bees so they didn't have a lot of time to teach me so all I could do was observe. It was hard trying to catch everything they are doing but after the second day, I could do those petty things like give directions, make reservations, arrange limos for the guests to leave, paste stamps (YES!! now I know how it works!!), say "Good morning, how may I assist you??" with a smile on my face while thinking shit!! he WANTS something and because 1 of my hotel's rule is to never point out but to escort guests to their destination in the hotel, I had to escort them to the damn toilet mostly but I DID get tips for just sending a guest to the business centre to use the internet. BANG!! RM10 in my pocket for walking some1 to some place in less than 10 mins. I've took Honey and Stitch for walks that lasted longer than an hour and all I got was shit. Literally. I also got another RM10 from this Russian couple who i had to escort to their room and introducing some facilities and shit. But this leads me to the next thing.

For people who think "Dennis, your job is so cool *cough* Laura *cough*", NO ITS NOT COOL!! Now for the other side of the hotel life that I have been through. In the MO Club, it's a self service kind of thing so we have buffets set up and sorts but SOME people are jsut too damn lazy. Now, if you're gona say "Dennis, you're mean", then shut up! I love serving people but to ask for a cup of coffee when you're sitting right next to the damn coffee machine just sucks. I know its a place for you to relax but can't you just get up and get your coffee yourself?? will it take forever?? no!! and speaking of that, we have this particularly fussy guest.Just like Mr. Calles, we have a public enemy too. He is like the fussiest guest in KL and many other hotels in KL have refused to take him in except ours. We shall just call him Mr. B (for privacy reasons) nono wait. It's DR. B~~ Now, in every hotel, there will be systems to check on guests profiles, accounts and various other information about a guest and in his "remarks" page, every single collumn writen is about a complaint and if printed out, it will be 5 pages long and thats just the old complaints because...........we didnt have anymore space for him to add complaints...hahahhaa.... anyways, about Dr. B, he has many many requests that we MUST follow or risk another complaint. Here are SOME of his requests:

Give you a RM29,000 coffee machine to press also lazy wan make coffee urself.

1. The music must be turned off everytime he walks in.
2. Every morning, there must be a table that he wants set for him with his special breakfast.
3. If he wants something even if we don't serve it anymore, we must get it for him.
4. He chooses people to be nice to and people to be hated and I, am proud to say I'm on his hated list. Well at least I think I am.

Thats just a few. Anyways, this guy is like fussier than many of your in-laws but so far, I've only heard stories and read complaints but this time, I was quite lucky to see him in action. He came like an hour after we cleared afternoon tea and he demanded for scones but we didnt have anymore scones left so what happened next scarred me for life and I swear, I'm never going to eat in another 5 star hotel anymore!! and the one advice that I can give you that Wilson gave me is if you want to complain, always, ALWAYS complain after your meal. Why?? I'm sure you know why and I'm not writing what we did to get him those scones and no we did NOT spit in it. If you really want to know what we gave him and how we got it, you can e-mail me and I'll tell you.

Oh we have your scones right here Dr. B

Now, the bad side of working in the concierge. Like I said, guests come asking for every single thing they want to know that they cannot figure out themselves even if the tallest building in Malaysia is sitting right next to your room. Most of our "customers" come for directions which is perfectly fine because you're a foreigner and you don't know the place. Fine I give you that. You want to know which is the cheapest and fastest way to your destination, I can understand that too but how stupid must you be, to ask me those 2 questions when you want to get to the Petronas Twin towers?? and like every other hotel, our rooms' number is associated with the view and that guest was from a room that has a view of the two bloody giant corn looking dicks that were standing errect from the ground!! Honestly, I don't hate these people because I can now tell people who thinks foreigners are the smartest or best in everyway. There was also this guest who wanted to play some stupid ass game and he asked my colleague to go fetch it for him. But thats not the cherry on top of the cake. The most frustrating guests are guests who ask for stupid things WITH bad English. I can't say my English is the best but please, if you can't speak proper English, don't act like you're so dam big!! like this arab dude trying to ask me to confirm his flight. Heres how it went

Arab Dude: Blaine Dicket.
Dennis: I'm sorry sir could you repeat that??
AD: BLAINE DICKET!!
D: blaine....oh PLANE TICKET!!
AD: Yes...
pause.............
AD: well??
D: I'm sorry sir. What would you want me to do with the plane tickets??
AD: [pause] [mumbles something to wife]
D: would you like me to reconfirm your flight??
AD: AHH!! yes yes!! pleeez confeirm my blane dicket.
D: Alright Mr. AD, you could go back to your room first and I'll call you when I have reconfirmed it.
AD: [walks off]

That guy wanted to know how to get to the twin towers wor...how???

All that and not even a thank you?!?! sheesh so after I reconfirmed his flight, I called him back and his wife picked up and thank god his wife speaks English!!!!! These are the most frustrating type of people I have ever tried to communicate with in my life!! But there are people who are super nice. I love recieving calls and requests from people who speaks good English and who are polite. The most annoying guests however, surprisingly are NOT foreigners but our own countrymen. Especially the chinese. I myself am a chinese but god do I hate these people. When they ask you for something, and just because they have money, they think you're like a cloth soaked in water and they'll you out of the basin and squeeze every last drop of water out of you. If they pay RM2000 a night, oh they'll make sure they get their RM2000's worth of service which actaully is NOT that big a sum compared to others.

Okok.. I shall leave the complaints out or it will be 5 pages long like Dr. B's!!! hahaha... but although I complain, I was happy doing what I did and I'm glad I did it and all those dumb shits are just a part of everyday life so no point frussing over that. Saying it once is enough and I'm not complaining to get a pat on the back and a thank you, you're great which I also learnt is not going to happen but to let other people in the same field as I am to read and hopefully teach me something new be it if your behind the counter or on the other side. And for people who thinks my job is easy, think of this. You're not special because when you buy the ice cream, you only get to watch it get scooped. Only special people get to scoop the ice cream. Thats why they made self service ice cream machines.. because they want you tards to feel special too. And if I have offended any of you, maybe because you WERE the person I served or maybe you have been a similar dumb fuck, I'm not sorry!! You should be mature enough to think that I practice freedom of speech and if you don't like it, don't use the internet. And also enjoy some of the pics.