1918 to 2007

Yesterday at 5.30 in the morning, My grandpa passed away at the age of 89 and 9 days shy from him 90th birthday. I'm writing this as a message to my grandpa to let him know that I miss him like hell and I wish he could come back so I can say my last goodbye as I was still nicely tucked in bed when he took his last breath.




Khong Wai Mun, my grandfather got to live a long life but he his life was mostly filled with suffering and hardship. He was born into a poor family in China and his father sent him here to work. He worked day and night hoping that one day, he could be successful but that day never came and instead he got bullied by other co-workers. They always asked him to go fetch water from a near-by well for dinner and by the time he got back, there were no more food left for him and while everybody else got to sleep in the squatters, they gave him a bench to call his own bed. Despite that, he never hated those people instead he worked harder each day to prove that he is somebody but yet they still treated him like dirt but that didn't stop him from perfecting his skills as a carpenter and as a person. This was one of the many stories he use to tell me when I was younger but I'll just take it as nothing.


He then got a job to work as a carpenter for KTM and met his future father in-law and together with my granma, they raised 5 very very fine children one of which my mother who inherited his honesty, kindness and integrity and just like her father, she taught me that but I have to say that I didn't use to listen. Then 4 years ago, he had a stroke in my own house. the image of him losing feeling to his left arm still runs crystal clear in my head and from that day onwards, that man's life got worse as the days went by. He was frequently in and out of the hospital and as well as life and death but each time, he survived. He was a fighter in life.. he never gave up hope but just last week, he started starving himself. He didn't want to eat, he didn't want to talk and god i felt awful for just going to see him a few times in a month. But still, every time i went to visit him, he tells me to be hardworking, and to be strong. He also thought me that my family comes first in front of everything else in the world but I have only managed to fulfill half of what he taught me. I failed in being a good grandson to him as I didn't do anything that I can tell him to be proud of but I do thank him because I have learnt that my family always comes before anything.


At his funeral, I didn't shed a single tear in front of him. I don't know how to explain it but everytime tears starts collecting on my eyes, its like he is right beside me telling me to suck it up and there is no reason to be sad because he is now happy and I cannot cry because I have to console my aunts and my mom as they have lost the one person that all matters. The sight of them crying for him to come back tore my heart into pieces but I still had to refrain from showing that I'm weak to let everybody know that they must be strong but I'm actually burning inside but I also felt that it was what my grandpa wanted me to show his son and daughters. He wanted them to be strong and no matter how hard I wanted to do it, I could not shed a tear.


I went up to do a eulogy for him and at that time, I felt him the most. Its like he was speaking through me, telling my family members know that its ok that he has passed and at least now he is a free man no longer constricted to the wheelchair and he is no longer in pain. The one thing that I know is that he will never be just a memory to me. I am what he thought me to be and I promise him that I will try my best to fulfill what he wants, a united, strong, loving family. I am now finally able to let my tears flow and I really do wish he comes back to visit me soon so I can say goodbye and take care to him myself and to let him know that I will miss him.